Summer Bee-gone


Summer is on its last legs and fall is on its way, which means that soon we will be able to go outside without fear of melting. This is great, but we’re not there yet. To make it to fall, we must first survive the bees. There is an unprecedented bee infestation on the Cooper campus. We have all seen them loitering around trash cans or menacingly swarming us at lunch. I know of at least one person who was tragically stung, and have twice experienced a bee making its way into my closed hand—I have never been more terrified in my life. The fact is, we have to live with them for the time being, as even the Kona-Ice truck failed to lure them away, despite my fervent hope. This horrible situation is potentially deadly for those among us with allergies, and just plain painful for the rest of us, so here are some tips for surviving until fall:

  1. Don’t go by trash cans
  2. Let no bee be harmed
  3. Fruit is not your friend
  4. Don’t sit down suddenly
  5. Watch what you eat (eating bees is not fun)
  6. Keep moving if surrounded
  7. If caught, move slowly, if at all
  8. Don’t go outside unless absolutely necessary

I hope these tips can help you, because despite these troubling times, if we make it out on the other side we can expect a wonderful fall—we may get a whole two weeks of it before winter barges in.